Puzzled

These days when I’ve sat down to write, I find myself puzzled. I have ideas in a few different genres and projects at various stages of progress. You’d think I could sit down and write what I want, right? Somehow it isn’t happening that way for me right now.

I’ve written before about writers and their existential crises, but I don’t think I’m going through that. Rather, it seems why I write hasn’t quite caught up with what I want to write.

If I boil things down, why do I write? I write to spread mercy, and generally I want to speak hope and truth. Or, in different words, to encourage and educate.

I want to write theology because, to me, theology is everywhere and impacts just about everything, filling life with meaning and reasons for gratitude! Still, I don’t want to be academic. Nor do I want to compete with pastors in any way.

I want to help, but I want to help by filling in holes. Plugging up the gaps. Speaking words we too easily forget to say or turning attention to those who have too long been silenced or overlooked.

Huh. That is kind of daunting. No wonder I keep ending up working on picture books.

A growing part of me doesn’t want to write picture books. At first I did it for my children and the needs I saw. But my kids are growing up. I’d really like to content myself and move on. But I haven’t. Not yet. I’m puzzled. Don’t I want at least to write for my children’s ages? Aim a little older?! I have one project–solid idea, good need, and a start on outline and writing, but it’s just not moving anywhere fast.

Maybe I should have a higher view of picture books. Or, maybe my voice isn’t ready for those other genres. Perhaps my perspective isn’t one needed these days afterall. Maybe I’m in love with sentences rather than paragraphs!! Sigh.

I’m glad I’ve gotten where I have with my current projects. I’m glad I have stayed away from “giving up” for “maybe later,” keeping my various bits and pieces around for later. Guess I sure do wonder where I’ll be as a writer at the end of another year. 🙂 May it be less puzzled!

PS. I have not forgotten the giveaway! I just need to remember how to use the right plugin so it’s all above board and random as can be.

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